In light of all the drama surrounding The Dream and Christina Milian and other celebrity relationships that have dwindled in the spotlight, Parlour Magazine sat down with OG Bun B for some advice on love and relationships. Bun B, who has been happily married for 12 years, shared great insight when it comes to choosing your mate, women utilizing the power that they have in relationships and shacking up before marriage. Here are some of the excerpts:
Bun B on choosing your mate
The most important is to choose someone with whom you feel you can build something. As a woman you don’t just want to get with a man that’s a good provider because if anything happens to that provider, you’ll be left to find another one and you’ll never learn how to provide for yourself. If you’re a woman in that type of relationship, there will eventually be a child involved and you don’t want to be that type of mother to your child. So before you look to get married, make sure you have some sort of training or that you’ve learned a way to contribute and make money should your provider fall by the way side. But the best scenario is to have two like minded individuals working towards the same goals both of them equally enjoy building up something until they establish that foundation where one of them can choose to take the time off to raise a child, that’s the perfect situation. Well, actually the really perfect situation is that they grind hard so they can retire and raise a child together. Good luck finding that.
Bun B on Living Together Before Marriage
I’m not a big fan of that. [If] They’ve been together for three years, they’re probably already having sex and the only thing separating them is their personal space. If they’re not ready to commit fully, then it can only hamper the situation. Once you allow people into your personal space, it usually doesn’t strengthen the bond, it tends to separate it and if they haven’t already become engaged or really ready to move to that next level anyway, moving in together is a minor technicality. I wouldn’t suggest it at all. It’s always good to keep as much personal space from someone as possible until you’re ready to share everything.
On Women Claiming The Power They Have In Relationships
You have to stop using your power in relationships for purses and shoes. There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things, but if all you’ve built your relationship around is making sure you can maintain these nice things then that’s the only parameter to which he’s going to be loyal and faithful. So when you get mad about other things, he’s going to say ‘all you ever wanted was this and I gave you this all the time. You never said this was going to be an issue.’ There’s no such thing as implicit understanding in the bowels of a relationship. I’m going to tweet that.
You can read more relationship advice from Bun B over at Parlour